Anti-Jokes

[Ham.]

yes anyone know these? i know matt rybicki does but an example:

Why did little Suzy drop her ice cream? she was hit by a truck

make sense? the whole point is to make the joke with an over literal answer

 

[Mikey G]

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause these jokes fucking suck.

Just kidding though, still don't understand how these are funny.

 

[Ham.]

idk but theyre funny as hell

 

[JoshNunez]

Why did the chicken die? It got its head cut off.

 

[humpurple kushiones]

in soviet russia, god creates human.

amidoingitright?

EDIT: NOPE, thats actually a non anti joke. i get it now

 

[Ham.]

^^^^ almost there Whats the difference between a jew and firewood?

Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

 

[.Gerrit]

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?
"Get in the Batmobile."

 

[Jon.]

What do you call a black guy who flies a plane? a pilot.

What's funny about 3 asian kids dying in a car crash? nothing they were my friends

 

[Ham.]

your getting it now

 

[Jon.]

not at all.

 

[Kieran Mayhew]

What do you call I guy with no limbs? Whatever his name is, he has enough problems without being subject to abuse.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

A Dyslexic man walks into a Bra.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

How many jews can you fit in a Wolksvagen hatchback? 5.

Will post more as I get them looool.

 

[Ham.]

^^cheater^^ just killed it lol

 

[Kieran Mayhew]

Anti-joke.com say what?

 

[Ham.]

an irish man walks out of a bar

 

[humpurple kushiones]

Your friend is so gay, he has consensual sex with other men. and enjoys it.


Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.



A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse replies "My wife is dying of terminal cancer."
this one kinda made me lol.

 

[SuicidalScooters]

Did you hear about the guy who dropped the soap in jail? Apparently it was pretty slippery.

 

[Ham.]

HAHAAHAHHAHA i love these jokes sooooo much

 

[Rob.]

A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Stripper all walk into a bar.

Sounds painful, you would've thunk that the priest and the stripper would've noticed the bar after the rabbi hit it..

 

[ConnorD]

What did the recently diagnosed Bipolar man say to the bartender?
I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

What did the man say when he was hit by a train?
Nothing, the impact of the train killed him almost instantaneously.

Why couldn't the blonde woman drive?
Because she had no arms or legs.

 

[Ryno496]

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? cancer. What did he get for the next Christmas? nothing he died of cancer