Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML. Today, I was talking to my crush about making the soccer team. Excited, he congratulated me and asked for my number. I proceeded to give him my cellphone number. He laughed and said "your jersey number". FML
Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me : "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?". I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, at which he responded : "No, probably not." FML