JOKES???

J

jamiemac2005

Member
i know its abit sad but post some GOOD jokes i only have a few and there a bit ill manered(sick) but here they r:

can u name a famous jewish baker???

Adolf hitler
(sorry)
in the navy how do they seperate the men from the boys???
normally with a crowbar...

thought for the day- treat your women like you treat your hoover, when it stops sucking change the bag

A woman go's to the docter and gets checked up her results come back and the doctor says......


well madam you can be looking forward to late many nights and lots of nappy changing, to which the woman replies "what am i having a baby" and the doctor says.....



no you've got irretable bowl syndrome....
(sorry again)

A ninety-five year-old bloke attempts to go dow on his ninety-three year-old girlfriend:

Bloke: It stinks down there. I feel sick.

Woman: Oh, that'll be my arthritis.

Bloke: I didn't know you had arthritis down there.

Woman: I don't. The arthritis is in my shoulders. It stops me from wiping my arse.

(Sorry again)


Q: How can you tell when your sister is having a period?

A: Your Dad's dick tastes strange.

Q:How do you circumcise a red neck?



A:Kick his sister in the mouth!





bit less tastless but:
What is the similarity between a PC and an air conditioning unit?
They both f**k up when you open windows.

back to the tastless nasty jokes:

whats blue and fucks grannies???


Hypothermia.


and finally:

whats the difference between a pile of sand and a pile of babies??


you cant pick up a whole pile of sand with a pitchfork....

i would like to apologise for the tastless jokes i have just posted and i know many of you will want to hunt me down and kill me so sorry!!!
<span class='smallblacktext'>[ Edited ]</span>
 
N

Nate Grant

Steel Member
a grasshopper walks into a bar and hops on the barstool. The bartender says "You know, we have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper gets all excitied and his eyes get really wide and he says "You have a drink named Steve?????!?!?!?.
haha it sounds better in person

EDIT: a cheeseburger walks into a bar. "the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

haha another cheezy one lol
<span class='smallblacktext'>[ Edited Sun Sep 25 2005, 07:53AM ]</span>
 
M

Miles Quirk

Member
if i ever meet you ill kill you for your beyond gay tennesse joke.

A young girl and her mom are at the zoo and they see 2 monkeys having sex,
she asks her mom what there diong and she says making cakes.
the next day their at the park and see 2 teenagers having sex on a bench, again the daughter asks what their doing,
mom says their making cakes,

the next morning while the mother is eating breakfast the girl walks in and says "you and daddy were making cakes last night"
mom say " how did you know?!"
" i licked the icing off the couch!"
 
V

VillageFox

Steel Member
Yo mamma's so fat, when she wears a red dress, the kids in the neighborhood yell, "Hey, Kool-Aid!"

Yo mamma's so fat, it takes a train and two buses to get on her good side.

Yo mamma's so fat, her picture weighs ten pounds.

Yo mamma's so fat, she feel over and fell asleep trying to get up!

yo mamma's so fat when i went to get off her i rolled over 17 times and was still on the b*tch (sorry)
 
Matt Dibble

Matt Dibble

M3MB3R
Staff member
Miles Quirk said:
if i ever meet you ill kill you for your beyond gay tennesse joke.

A young girl and her mom are at the zoo and they see 2 monkeys having sex,
she asks her mom what there diong and she says making cakes.
the next day their at the park and see 2 teenagers having sex on a bench, again the daughter asks what their doing,
mom says their making cakes,

the next morning while the mother is eating breakfast the girl walks in and says "you and daddy were making cakes last night"
mom say " how did you know?!"
" i licked the icing off the couch!"
Click to expand...


i told this one in person and i had a group of like 10 people laughin really hard and im like "the joke is from miles" and they are like "who is miles" im like "maybe you should know and maybe you shouldnt" (just bein dumb) and yea it went over really good lol
 
W

whoopa

Member
yo moma so fat on her drivers licence it said picture continued on other side

yo moma so fat when she got lost she tookup all four sides of the milk carton

yo moma so fat she uses a matchress for a tampon

(i am very sorry for the last three jokes but hahaha
 
V

VillageFox

Steel Member
what do you call a women with one leg?

illean

what do u call a bunch of white ppl sliding down a hill?

an avilanche

a bunch of black ppl?

mudslide

what do you call a bunch of mexicans rolling and sliding down a hill?

jailbreak (kinda gay, but its funny in person)


<span class='smallblacktext'>[ Edited Mon Sep 26 2005, 03:32PM ]</span>
 
C

Chris_Bartnicki

Steel Member
A pirite walks into a bar (door swings open a pirite apears) bartender says you know u have a stearing wheel in your pocket?(pirite sratches head and look for this "stearing wheel," its spoted) ARGH ITS DRIVNG ME NUTZ!!!


the things in the ( ) are useless information i thought i would though in to confuse people but read it with out that infromation and image me having a funny pirtae voice
 
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