The Lame Jokes Thread.
- Thread starter Aaron
- Start date
ben-pat-bro
Member
Why did the toilet roll stop going down the hill?
Cause it got to the bottom..
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Cause it ran out of Juice..
Cause it got to the bottom..
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Cause it ran out of Juice..
christian mesa
Member
haha lmao
why did the chicken cross the road.
because he wanted too
why did the chicken cross the road.
because he wanted too
Joe Hilditch
Member
what goes 99 thump?
A Centipede with a wooden leg
A Centipede with a wooden leg
a boy goes in the shower with his mom. he looks down and says "whats that?"
mom says "last night, daddy hit me with an axe."
the boy replies "WOW, he hit you right in the cunt!"
a white guy, mexican and black guy find an abandoned house.
the white guy walks in and takes $100 off of a table. a ghost appears and says,
"IM THE GHOST OF MARY ABLE.
PUT THAT MONEY ON THE TABLE."
the white guy puts the money down and runs out.
the mexican goes in and takes the $100.
"IM THE GHOST OF MARY ABLE.
PUT THAT MONEY ON THE TABLE."
the black guy walks in and takes the money. the ghost appears.
"IM THE GHOST OF MARY ABLE.
PUT THAT MONEY ON THE TABLE."
the black guy replies, "im the ghost of betty crocket. this moneys staying right in my pocket."
what do you call a black guy on the moon?
problem.
a thousand black guys?
problem.
all the black guys in the world?
lights out.
what do you call a million mexicans falling down a hill?
mud slide
what do you call a million black guys running down a hill?
rock slide.
what do you call a million white guys falling down a hill?
avalanche.
3 students go to school late, 2 boys and 1 girl. 1 boy walks in. "where were you," says the teacher. "i was on top of cherry hill" says the boy. the second boy walks in. "where were you?" says the teacher. "i was on top of cherry hill." the girl walks in last. the teacher says "LET ME GUESS, you were on top of cherry hill?"
the girl replies, "no, i am cherry hill."
what do you call a mexican without a lawnmower?
unemployed.
i hate you, you hate me, lets chase barney up a tree. get a can of gasoline, lets light him up, and hear him scream.
why did snow white get kicked out of disneyland?
she sat on pinocchio's face and said "lie, b!tch, lie!"
a boy tells his babysitter that his mom lets him stick his finger in her belly button before he goes to bed. she says "ok, but only once." a few minutes later, she says "wait, thats not my belly button..." the boy says "and thats not my finger"
these are jokes not supposed to be taken seriously. sorry if anything offended you. ill update later.
mom says "last night, daddy hit me with an axe."
the boy replies "WOW, he hit you right in the cunt!"
a white guy, mexican and black guy find an abandoned house.
the white guy walks in and takes $100 off of a table. a ghost appears and says,
"IM THE GHOST OF MARY ABLE.
PUT THAT MONEY ON THE TABLE."
the white guy puts the money down and runs out.
the mexican goes in and takes the $100.
"IM THE GHOST OF MARY ABLE.
PUT THAT MONEY ON THE TABLE."
the black guy walks in and takes the money. the ghost appears.
"IM THE GHOST OF MARY ABLE.
PUT THAT MONEY ON THE TABLE."
the black guy replies, "im the ghost of betty crocket. this moneys staying right in my pocket."
what do you call a black guy on the moon?
problem.
a thousand black guys?
problem.
all the black guys in the world?
lights out.
what do you call a million mexicans falling down a hill?
mud slide
what do you call a million black guys running down a hill?
rock slide.
what do you call a million white guys falling down a hill?
avalanche.
3 students go to school late, 2 boys and 1 girl. 1 boy walks in. "where were you," says the teacher. "i was on top of cherry hill" says the boy. the second boy walks in. "where were you?" says the teacher. "i was on top of cherry hill." the girl walks in last. the teacher says "LET ME GUESS, you were on top of cherry hill?"
the girl replies, "no, i am cherry hill."
what do you call a mexican without a lawnmower?
unemployed.
i hate you, you hate me, lets chase barney up a tree. get a can of gasoline, lets light him up, and hear him scream.
why did snow white get kicked out of disneyland?
she sat on pinocchio's face and said "lie, b!tch, lie!"
a boy tells his babysitter that his mom lets him stick his finger in her belly button before he goes to bed. she says "ok, but only once." a few minutes later, she says "wait, thats not my belly button..." the boy says "and thats not my finger"
these are jokes not supposed to be taken seriously. sorry if anything offended you. ill update later.
Joe Hilditch
Member
the cherry hill ones hillareous
Devon Garcia
Member
"whats up"
"the sky"
"the sky"
Joe Hilditch
Member
Man says to woman, Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢ Why the long face? Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢
The woman replies, Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢ My mother was raped by a horse. Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢
A teenage couple are having sex one day and the boyfriend chuckles to himself and says, Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢YouÃ?¢ââ??‰â??¢re a lesbian.Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢ and his girlfriend replies, Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢why?Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢, Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢because my penis is a girl!Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢.
The woman replies, Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢ My mother was raped by a horse. Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢
A teenage couple are having sex one day and the boyfriend chuckles to himself and says, Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢YouÃ?¢ââ??‰â??¢re a lesbian.Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢ and his girlfriend replies, Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢why?Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢, Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢because my penis is a girl!Ã?¢ââ??‰â??¢.
a couple more decent ones.
a blonde and brunette jump off a cliffe, who hits the ground first?
brunette. blonde has top stop and ask for directions.
3 guys are on a magical bridge. they say one word in the air and thats what they land in. the first guy screams "MARSHAMLLOWS!!!" and lands in marshmallows. the second guy screams "PILLOWS!!!" and lands in pillows. the third guy trips and says "SH!T"
a blonde and brunette jump off a cliffe, who hits the ground first?
brunette. blonde has top stop and ask for directions.
3 guys are on a magical bridge. they say one word in the air and thats what they land in. the first guy screams "MARSHAMLLOWS!!!" and lands in marshmallows. the second guy screams "PILLOWS!!!" and lands in pillows. the third guy trips and says "SH!T"
Steve Moore
Steel Member
What's funnier than 10 dead babies in 10 trashcans? 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans.
Peter Luce
Bronze member
What the best way to put a baby in the blender...
-Feet first so you can see its expression
OR
-Head first so you see its little legs wiggle
-Feet first so you can see its expression
OR
-Head first so you see its little legs wiggle
)bradhouston(
Member
what do you called a 100 white men chasing a black man?
PGA golf tour
what wud martin luther king be if he was white?
alive
why are jelly babies alot like the world?
cus everyone hates the black ones
PGA golf tour
what wud martin luther king be if he was white?
alive
why are jelly babies alot like the world?
cus everyone hates the black ones
what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a lamborghini?
I don't have a lamborghini in my garage..
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
Why did the blonde come home with a bruise on her bellybutton?
Because guy blondes are dumb too.
A blonde is driving through the countryside when she hears a blonde joke on the radio, this of course angers her, so she tells her friend next to her how all these blonde jokes are giving blondes a bad name, because most of them aren't that dumb, etc. So a few miles down the road, she sees a blonde trying to paddle a canoe in the middle of a field, so she stops, gets out of the car and shouts, "You stupid bitch, you're giving all blondes a bad name! If I could swim, I'd come out and kick your ass!"
Lil' Timmy is caught having sex at school, and is sent home. When he gets home, his mother tells him she's very disappointed in him and that he should go talk to his father about it. So he goes upstairs, and his dad says, "Timmy, I know I should be punishing you right now for this, but having sex is a really big step in life for a man, hell, I'm gonna go buy you a bike for this." So they go to the bike store and get a fancy bike, and while they're walking home, timmy's dad asks "timmy, why are you not riding your brand new bike" and timmy says "because my ass still hurts."
I have so many more, I just can't think of them right now.
I don't have a lamborghini in my garage..
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
Why did the blonde come home with a bruise on her bellybutton?
Because guy blondes are dumb too.
A blonde is driving through the countryside when she hears a blonde joke on the radio, this of course angers her, so she tells her friend next to her how all these blonde jokes are giving blondes a bad name, because most of them aren't that dumb, etc. So a few miles down the road, she sees a blonde trying to paddle a canoe in the middle of a field, so she stops, gets out of the car and shouts, "You stupid bitch, you're giving all blondes a bad name! If I could swim, I'd come out and kick your ass!"
Lil' Timmy is caught having sex at school, and is sent home. When he gets home, his mother tells him she's very disappointed in him and that he should go talk to his father about it. So he goes upstairs, and his dad says, "Timmy, I know I should be punishing you right now for this, but having sex is a really big step in life for a man, hell, I'm gonna go buy you a bike for this." So they go to the bike store and get a fancy bike, and while they're walking home, timmy's dad asks "timmy, why are you not riding your brand new bike" and timmy says "because my ass still hurts."
I have so many more, I just can't think of them right now.