Haloween
- Thread starter Jake Carlyon
- Start date
Brian Boston
I got myself banned.
Yeah well, i got to ride with her, in your face bitches. And Mr Murphy macked it with her mom, lol.
Dylan Kasson
Steel Member
alright here is the story behind halloween
poor people used to come up to rich peoples doors or break in thier house and demand they be fed because they had it hard and the rich could afford feeding all them they were all beggars hence the name beggars night which some people call it today
poor people used to come up to rich peoples doors or break in thier house and demand they be fed because they had it hard and the rich could afford feeding all them they were all beggars hence the name beggars night which some people call it today
The Official Story Of Halloween:
(As Told By: Matt Dibble)
One night there was a man who was home being loney jacking off to child pornography, when suddenly he heard a knock on the door. He quickly put it away and zipped up and answered the door to find a group of children. He then says, "What the fuck do you guys want?" and they say "Our parents say that the newest poll says candy is bad for your teeth and they said they will never buy it for us again". The man quickly thinks to himself, "OH NO! If there is no more candy the children will disappear and they wont make any more child porn!" So he turns to the children and says, "How many children are going without candy?" They reply, "All the children of the United States, as far as we know." The man then had a puzzled look on his face, his face was saying the unspoken words, "how did this happen".
The very next minute the man was marching down to Washington, D.C where he would meet President George Bush and discuss a new business proposition. The man had a great scheme that would take the world by storm.
"Mr. President there is a man here to see you"
"Send him in" (odd because of all the security a random guy gets in right)
Anyway he got in the office and sat down, he looks over to the president and says, "Have you ever thought about having a new holiday? I mean really. We have holidays about giving, about love, about presidents, about patriotism, what we dont have is a holiday about scaring the bejesus out of someone!"
"Wow that is a good idea, but how can the government make money off it?"
"Well thats the great plan, the government can make this special candy that tastes good but is very healthy and comes in neon green packaging. They can also make decorations for this holiday involved with fear and surprise to scare the bejesus out of people. And you want to know whats really scary? FALL.. the leaves scare me EVERY TIME! we should do this little thing on October 31, considering its such a good day and everything"
"Well, everything you said seems to make sense, but how are we going to pull off the random new holiday thing?"
"The kids want candy, the parents want health, your in!"
"How do the kids get the candy?"
"We'll have the kids go door to door on halloween.. because its scary... you could even make something for them to wear so you can tell the 'holiday' kids from the regular kids. Scary costumes, it will be the fad for the evening. All it needs is a name, what do you suggest?"
"Halloween"
"Why halloween?"
"Because it says it right there above that door" (points)
"That says hallway, you idiot"
"well halloween sounds good... LETS DO IT!"
5 months later the government was making billions of dollars selling paper in the shapes of ghosts and candy in neon green packaging, along with scary costumes.
Parents were happy because the candy was healthy
Kids were happy because the candy still tasted good.
The man was happy because he could still jerk it to child porn.
The End.
(As Told By: Matt Dibble)
One night there was a man who was home being loney jacking off to child pornography, when suddenly he heard a knock on the door. He quickly put it away and zipped up and answered the door to find a group of children. He then says, "What the fuck do you guys want?" and they say "Our parents say that the newest poll says candy is bad for your teeth and they said they will never buy it for us again". The man quickly thinks to himself, "OH NO! If there is no more candy the children will disappear and they wont make any more child porn!" So he turns to the children and says, "How many children are going without candy?" They reply, "All the children of the United States, as far as we know." The man then had a puzzled look on his face, his face was saying the unspoken words, "how did this happen".
The very next minute the man was marching down to Washington, D.C where he would meet President George Bush and discuss a new business proposition. The man had a great scheme that would take the world by storm.
"Mr. President there is a man here to see you"
"Send him in" (odd because of all the security a random guy gets in right)
Anyway he got in the office and sat down, he looks over to the president and says, "Have you ever thought about having a new holiday? I mean really. We have holidays about giving, about love, about presidents, about patriotism, what we dont have is a holiday about scaring the bejesus out of someone!"
"Wow that is a good idea, but how can the government make money off it?"
"Well thats the great plan, the government can make this special candy that tastes good but is very healthy and comes in neon green packaging. They can also make decorations for this holiday involved with fear and surprise to scare the bejesus out of people. And you want to know whats really scary? FALL.. the leaves scare me EVERY TIME! we should do this little thing on October 31, considering its such a good day and everything"
"Well, everything you said seems to make sense, but how are we going to pull off the random new holiday thing?"
"The kids want candy, the parents want health, your in!"
"How do the kids get the candy?"
"We'll have the kids go door to door on halloween.. because its scary... you could even make something for them to wear so you can tell the 'holiday' kids from the regular kids. Scary costumes, it will be the fad for the evening. All it needs is a name, what do you suggest?"
"Halloween"
"Why halloween?"
"Because it says it right there above that door" (points)
"That says hallway, you idiot"
"well halloween sounds good... LETS DO IT!"
5 months later the government was making billions of dollars selling paper in the shapes of ghosts and candy in neon green packaging, along with scary costumes.
Parents were happy because the candy was healthy
Kids were happy because the candy still tasted good.
The man was happy because he could still jerk it to child porn.
The End.
josh capuano
Bronze member
that story was different lol
Brian Boston
I got myself banned.
Im not even going to read it, i saw jacking to child porn and knew its gonna be retarded.
Pete Pachota
Member
Lol I dont think it is, Its stupid but good.
razorscooters
Member
kinda a waste of time reading that i mean why jacking to child porn and when he " put it away" wouldnt he still be horory cuz there is childern at his door?
Dustin Nooner
Super queer.
k when i saw jerking to child porn..I didnt even bother to rea the rest. did u get raped Matt Dibble? were u a victem of some old guy jerking ot to u? Im thinking yes. lol
hahahaha NO