"Now, you all will have heard, no doubt, of a book called Twilight that has become so bizarrely popular these days. Now...I am a complete skeptic about reading (it's so much effort you see, and i am completely lazy) so i decided to look into the actual content of the novel. As it turns out, it really isn't bizarre that the book is popular, but instead that no one has noticed that Twilight is a rewrite of Romeo and Juliet. I shit you not. Do let's review the storyline, yes? To begin with, there's this girl, Bella Swan, who moves to Washington and meets some guy, Edward Cullen, who she finds out to be a vampire. By research, Bella comes to find out some secret which apparently makes their two families hate each other. Sound familiar? It damn well should. Anyhow, Edward's family tries to kill Bella etcetera etcetera. This is a reference to Tybalt (a Capulet) being killed by Romeo (a Montegue). So lets review with a nice, neat list. 1. Boy and Girl from opposing families fall in love 2. Tensions come to a head with violence betwixt (i am feeling shakespearean with that word) the opposing families 3. Boy and Girl continue relationship despite brewing discontent Yep...it's been done. Now...why do i really have a problem with this? WELL I'm mostly just mad that the book is generating such publicity. I mean, who the hell wants to read some stupid ass revamp of Romeo and Juliet by some yokel in connecticut who hasn't written a good book in her life and probably never will when they can instead read a SHORTER version of the EXACT STORY by the greatest master of the English language in all of history: William Shakespeare. To all you idiots who are actually looking forward to the sequels to this tripe and wondering with every fibre of your being just will happen i have but one recommendation: read Romeo and Juliet and stop subjecting yourself to this smut."
A review of Twilight my friend Jimmy Rasband wrote, he's a genius. Also, the swearing is quoted, as most of you know I don't swearrr
