your funniest jokes

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guslarsen

Bronze member
post up on here and tell me what joke you have heard or your most lamest joke or the most funniest joke youve ever heard. and sorry if this was already a thread before.
 
Jordan Jasa

Jordan Jasa

Silver Member
erik said:
DerekLowndes said:
what do you tell a tasmainin when you see him in bed?
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hi ethan!
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hahahahah


I saw this one on the bottom of a pizza chain restaurant box: Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Pizza Ranch on the other side, of course!

yes it sucks.

what do you call a fly with no wings? a walk
 
D

danielwarwick

Member
Hey, if you sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals; you will run out

I went to the doctor; all he did was suck blood from my neck. Do not go see Dr.Acula.

I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,"Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were.

Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's a very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got, motherfucker! This thing is useful! I'm gonna go pick something up!"

One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,"Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture is of you when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older." "You son of a bitch! How'd you pull that off? Lemme see that camera!"

I could keep going on and on lol.
 
S

skooterkid

Member
Danny WarDick said:
Hey, if you sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals; you will run out

I went to the doctor; all he did was suck blood from my neck. Do not go see Dr.Acula.

I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,"Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were.

nice and funny. are those internet jokes?

Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's a very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got, motherfucker! This thing is useful! I'm gonna go pick something up!"

One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,"Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture is of you when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older." "You son of a bitch! How'd you pull that off? Lemme see that camera!"

I could keep going on and on lol.
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B

Big L

Steel Member
Danny WarDick said:
Hey, if you sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals; you will run out

I went to the doctor; all he did was suck blood from my neck. Do not go see Dr.Acula.

I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,"Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were.

Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's a very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got, motherfucker! This thing is useful! I'm gonna go pick something up!"

One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,"Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture is of you when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older." "You son of a bitch! How'd you pull that off? Lemme see that camera!"

I could keep going on and on lol.
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i laughed at those ones aha
 
G

GeoffGeoff

Member
here they come! ill start with a simple only slightly offensive joke.

Whats the difference between a black person and a snow tire? Snow tires dont sing when you put chains on them!
 
D

dre

Member
GeoffGeoff said:
here they come! ill start with a simple only slightly offensive joke.

Whats the difference between a black person and a snow tire? Snow tires dont sing when you put chains on them!
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I didn't laugh...



Here's one:

Little timmy in grade 2 got sent home one day for having sex in school. When he got home, his mom told him to go talk to his father about it because she was too ashamed to say anything. So sure enough, timmy went upstairs and his father told him,

"timmy, I know everyone is a bit angry about this, and hell, I should be pissed off too, but having sex is a big step in life. hell, you know what, I think I'm gonna buy you a bike for it, but just don't tell your mother."

So timmy and his dad went to the bike store and his dad got him one of the nicest bikes in the store as a reward. On the way home, he noticed that timmy wasn't riding his bike, so he asked him,

"timmy, why aren't you riding your bike home?"

to which timmy replied,

"Because my ass still kinda hurts."
 
DavidMiles47

DavidMiles47

Steel Member
Fine!
Why are Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smiling? They dont know theyre black.

Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Theyre black.
 
D

danielwarwick

Member
Dre said:
GeoffGeoff said:
here they come! ill start with a simple only slightly offensive joke.

Whats the difference between a black person and a snow tire? Snow tires dont sing when you put chains on them!
Click to expand...
I didn't laugh...



Here's one:

Little timmy in grade 2 got sent home one day for having sex in school. When he got home, his mom told him to go talk to his father about it because she was too ashamed to say anything. So sure enough, timmy went upstairs and his father told him,

"timmy, I know everyone is a bit angry about this, and hell, I should be pissed off too, but having sex is a big step in life. hell, you know what, I think I'm gonna buy you a bike for it, but just don't tell your mother."

So timmy and his dad went to the bike store and his dad got him one of the nicest bikes in the store as a reward. On the way home, he noticed that timmy wasn't riding his bike, so he asked him,

"timmy, why aren't you riding your bike home?"

to which timmy replied,

"Because my ass still kinda hurts."
Click to expand...
Dre you're joke made me lol hard haha.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.
What was Helen Keller's cats name? Erbeanuwhfauhsfafwf
 
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