Phil you'd rather see some kid, with no parents at all, in a center of some sort with a bunch of other kids who are also parentless, unloved, and just barely cared for, than taken care of by two people of the same gender?
you're an apple
If you do make an "integrated" clamp, you should have one side just be flat, and one side have a hexagonal insert so you can put a nut in it, and have a bolt with a washer compressing against the flat side. This way nothing is possible to strip, and it can be tightened with a socket, which makes...