This needs to be shared:
Some dude and his GF in my school were having some anal fun on the couch of the dudes house. He still lived with his parents and they were out doing something. They came home, the couple saw the headlights of the car, so the dude pulls out real quick. Pulling out quick apparently does something inside you're butthole, almost like a vacuum or something, but the girls shits all over the couch. They somehow managed to get dressed before the parents get inside, but there is still shit on the couch. The dad asks what happened, and someone blames it on the dog. The parents are pissed so the dad goes and gets his gun (northeast PA=everyone has a gun) and shoots the dog on the spot.
True story, sucks for the dog.